kasman putra

Shade Of Red


Man/Ah Choy/Lyon/Putra
Guitar and piano are loves
I am a young man, 17! You are old!
Tick Tock!
Number of Times I Had Babies


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Fear



Theres a lot of definition to this really common-used word.
The basic definition to everyone would be "afraid or frightened of".

I basically have 3 fears.

Lets start with the not so scary fear I have.

"Katsaridaphobia"

The fear of cockroaches. Seeing it is ok. from afar.
I dont know how or when i developed this fear.
i mean, when i was young, i used to count scores as i step on them.
but now, it seems i wouldnt even dare to step on them.
if im at home, id use insecticides to spray em. but i dont use em like normal people do,
instead i will still spray the insecticide on the cockroach even after its dead, just to be safe.
i mean who knows whether the cockroach is playing dead. paranoid over it? i guess.

Second Fear.

"Claustrophobia"

Claustrophobia, the fear of being shut in a place.
for me, i cant be shut in a small space. i mean its ok if its in rooms and all, but not in a lift for too long. ive been stuck inside a lift once, i got what seems like a panic attack.
its like im fighting my ass of for my life. i kicked and punched at the lift although i did not think that it would not help at all during that moment. try imagine yourself being stuck inside a really small enclosed space, say ur closet or something, where everything is dark, noone is there, and you being trapped inside it for a really long time. oh the horror.

Last Fear.

"Gerascophobia"

Gerascophobia, the fear of getting old.
yes i have that fear. and i am not ashame to tell it.
everyone wants to be young forever, but everyone also has to face reality.
but heres the thing, im not afraid of dying or getting diseases when im old.
The only thing im afraid of in this phase, is that if id become a burden.
a burden to my kids or my grandchildren. I dont want to be a bother.
no, not at all. i dont want people to waste their time taking care of me. if it comes to a point of time where i cant take care of myself, i suppose i will take flight.

Au revoir.